plan b.

So, after the DCFC concert that wasn't, T and I headed home and decided to watch a movie. I picked Winter's Bone, since I'd been wanting to see it for a while and T's movie picks can't always be trusted (hee!)

It was a bit odd, and totally not a Hollywood release, but I quite liked it.

T: They totally left that open for a sequel.

Me: (Confused.) They did?

T: Yeah. You know... "Winter's Bone 2: Teardrop's Revenge".

lady geraldine.

Iphone autocorrect fail at Lady Gaga concert:

Me: It's a total Geraldine here! LOL

What I meant to say was "gong show", but now I'm intrigued. This Geraldine character must be pretty outrageous.

sunglasses at night.

Last night, after a very yummy meal at T’s house, featuring bacon-wrapped turkey scaloppini stuffed with goat’s cheese, we (me, T and his boys) commenced our regular game of Nerf Wars.

After a lot of ducking, diving, shooting and some minor Nerf ball injuries, T and I collapsed in exhaustion (that, and we had wine to finish). D, not ready to end the war so soon, wanted to keep playing…


T: We surrender!

D: I will never surrender!

T: Like Corey Hart?

D: What’s that?

35.

Despite all suggestions to the contrary (I'm talking to you, T) - I am now in my MID-thirties, or entering my thirty-sixth year, as my Grandpa would say.

I think one of the birthday traditions I look forward to most (besides eating a disgusting amount of "cheap white" birthday cake) is receiving my annual birthday poem from my dear friend, D. And yesterday, without fail,  she delivered what I think is by far her best poem yet. Without further ado...

Oh Dear, oh dear the day is here,

Time to rejoice by consuming large quantities of beer.

You have successfully made it to age thirty-five,

Well, successfully may be a stretch but at least you're alive.

I can't seem to find a nice thing to say, cause thirty-five sucks rocks,

Good thing they cancelled the census - now you don't have to check the much older age box.

Things are saggy, droopy and the word perky no longer applies,

You're fricken old sister if any one says different it's all LIES LIES LIES.

I love you, D. You made my day. xo

eta.

Make that THREE leashes Gus has destroyed.

Sigh.

gus vs. stuff.

This is my boy Gus.

Cute, eh?

You know what's not cute? When Gus eats things that are outside this list:

• dog food
• dog treats
• bones
• sticks he finds outside
• snow
• grass (on occasion)

It's a short list, and one that I'm pretty strict about. But despite my best efforts, Gus has managed to create his own list of things he's eaten or maimed beyond all recognition:

Gus' List O' Destruction

• 2 pairs of underwear
• 1 pair of flip flops (not mine - ha!)
• 2 pairs of shoes (also not mine - ha!)
• 2 books: The Joy of Cooking (meh) and the Larousse French/English Dictionary (being a wurd nerd, I'm a bit offended by this sacrilege, but seeing as how he's not touched any books since, I'm chalking it up to an isolated incident)
• corners of things (curtains, throw pillows, the wall trim in the bathroom)
• 2 leashes
• 1 Curious George stuffed toy (poor George's demise was long and drawn out: first, one ear, then the other, then an eye and then came the disembowelment... I rescued George from further torture at that point and sent him to the big toy box in the sky.)

Then there's a sub-list that details the "people food" he's successfully obtained and snarfed:

Illegal Food Stuffs

• 1 lb. of butter
• a half-dozen taco shells
• a half-dozen cheesy bread sticks (same night as the taco shells)
• miscellaneous candy

Apart from the people food - which bothers me only to the extent that he could have gotten really sick - the only items on the list that really stick in my craw are the underwear (they're expensive!) and the leashes (also expensive, but why would a dog destroy the very tool that his owner uses to do his favourite activity?)

At the end of the day, I can't really blame Gus for destroying any of these things. Keeping him sufficiently distracted and constant vigilance are key. I'd like to think that I've been very vigilant with him- in fact, many of the items listed above were not eaten/destroyed on my watch. The problem is that despite his size and complete lack of grace, Gus is a stealth bomber when it comes to doing things he's not supposed to. Half the time I don't discover that he's even done anything wrong until well after he's committed the act, simply because he's sneaky and really neat about it. I swear he knows how to put things back to seeming order after he's pilfered whatever it is that's captured his interest.

I'm sure this is not the end of the list by any means. I suspect that Gus will doggedly (har!) continue to expand his list with new and obscure items at every opportunity. I only hope that he outgrows his underwear fetish!