Friday, February 23, 2007

i love phlegm

One blissful week of respite after getting over my last cold, I decided to go all out this time and contract the flu. Go big, or go home, I say.

It all started when I woke up last Saturday morning with a painful chest cough. I didn't think much of it at the time because aside from the cough, I was feeling OK and I was determined to make good on my Chinese New Year resolution to get back into the gym, since I missed out on that other one a while back.

I slogged my way through the class, all the while feeling like my feet were encased in cement blocks, but I just chalked that up my currently high level of unfitness. It was only when I got home that it hit me like a truck. A ten tonne, tricked out, Hemi-toting, fully-loaded Mack truck. With flames airbrushed on the cab. I had every symptom a girl with a flu could ask for: fever, chills, sweats, sore joints, sensitive skin, sore throat, burning eyes and a cough that felt like razor blades carving up my lungs. I wanted to die.

It's hard to imagine that something so inocuous-looking could cause so much harm. Granted, Salmonella looks a little suspect, but E. coli is as adorable as they come. Aww, he's even smiling! Had I known that Bed Bugs were so cute, I would've stopped feverishly vacuuming my mattress and changing my sheet ages go! And someone's definitely getting Syphilis for their birthday.

I languished on the couch or in my bed for a total of four days, only rising to make some tea or to use the facilities (and even THAT hurt). In my delerium, I made my way into work on Monday to parade myself around the office, if only to silence the office chatter that would inevitably arise, given that this would prove to be my SECOND *gasp* sick day in as many months. I was promptly shooed home. Hee. I did start back at work on Wednesday, not so much because I was feeling better, but more for my own mental health. Being cooped up at home does a number on one's emotions and I needed a diversion to keep me from jumping off the first bridge I came across.

Last night, during a particularly violent coughing fit, I felt something in my head come loose. Seriously. Or at least that's what it felt like. So, now when I cough, I get this sharp pain behind my left eye and my brain rattles a bit in my head. Must just be a strain, right? How, pray tell, does one strain their brain?! I swear, this kind of stuff only happens to me.

I'm at the point now where my flu has all but subsided, leaving in its' place its' less-debilitating, yet infinitely more annoying inbred cousin, the cold. Aside from the congestion-induced state of euphoria, sniffling, sporadic coughing spells (don't forget the brain rattling), I actually don't feel that bad. In fact, I'm feeling so not-bad that I may even hit the gym tomorrow morning for a Body Combat class. I can already see myself sniffling and hacking away through the class, making a beeline to the communal kleenex box between pauses in choreography. On second thought, maybe I'll just stick a couple of tissues up my nose instead. It's much more efficient and will allow me to get the most out of my workout. So dedicated. An envy for all to behold.